Why protecting fathers' mental health is so important

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在好莱坞, the image of the overwhelmed dad is played for laughs, with consequences rarely more serious than an awkward diaper change or a frustrated cry of, ”分析!"

但在现实生活中, experts say the stresses of parenthood can pose challenges to the mental health of fathers, with implications not only for their physical health but for their children's well-being, 太.

The exact challenges would be unique to each father, 博士说. 凯特Gawlik, a nurse practitioner and an associate clinical professor at the Ohio State College of Nursing in Columbus. 但总体来说, "the mental health and behaviors of the child are very intertwined with those of the parent,高力克说, who also is co-director of her school's undergraduate program in health and wellness.

The importance of a father's mental health hasn't always been emphasized by researchers or society in general, 博士说. 希恩费舍尔, an associate professor in psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago. "Historically, we viewed it that as long as the mom is well, that's what impacts the kid. But we know that the father has a direct impact on the child's mental health, 医疗和发展成果."

当了父亲之后，挑战就开始了. "It's well-established that fathers are at an increased risk for depression and anxiety symptoms during the perinatal period,“就在孩子出生之前和之后, 费舍尔说.

About 10% of new fathers experience postpartum depression, 费舍尔说, with the highest risk being three to six months after a child is born. 这一比例不到女性的一半. 它也可能被低估了, 他说, because traditional measures might not fully measure depression in fathers.

"Men tend to mask their depression through substances like alcohol or illicit substances, 或者他们有攻击性行为,比如语言或身体上的攻击, 甚至是性欲亢进, 费舍尔说.

对儿童的影响似乎也很早就开始了. In a review of research on fathers and mental health that was published in the American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine in 2016, Fisher wrote that fathers' depression has been linked to negative behaviors in their offspring from infancy through early childhood. 在孩子生命的后期, paternal depression has been shown to affect the likelihood of a child developing depression or anxiety in adolescence and into early adulthood.

做父亲也会带来压力. 任何家长都知道, raising children can be simultaneously one of the most rewarding and challenging experiences a person can go through, 说Gawlik, 四个孩子的母亲. 她说:“其中涉及的事情太多了。. "You're literally responsible for other humans that you can't control."

In unpublished findings from an online survey of 722 parents of children younger than 18 for a recent report on parenting that Gawlik co-wrote, 44%的男性表示感到精疲力竭, which the report defined as "chronic stress and exhaustion that overwhelm a parent's ability to cope and function.“倦怠, 报告说, can leave parents feeling detached from their children and physically, 身心俱疲.

"Another thing that our research uncovered is that a lot of parents are lonely," Gawlik说. 在她的调查中, 79% of parents and 75% of fathers said they would welcome more interaction with adults outside of work. "And when parents feel lonely and isolated, their burnout also goes up."

Mothers face their own physical and mental challenges. 母亲抑郁会在很多方面伤害孩子. 在Gawlik的调查中, 55% of mothers reported feeling burned out – a level even higher than for men.

所有这些对心脏健康都有影响:压力 , depression and loneliness have been associated with cardiovascular problems.

Fathers who are not depressed can be a buffer for children when mothers experience problems, 研究表明. 但费舍尔, 一个五岁女儿的单身父亲, said that society usually is better at recognizing the needs of new moms than those of dads.

美国儿科学会, 例如, encourages screening all parents for signs of depression. The recommendations call for testing mothers during well-infant visits several times in the first six months – but fathers only once.

与此同时, many modern fathers are working without a blueprint as they retain traditional duties and learn to be nurturing in ways that earlier generations didn't model, 费舍尔说. “他们并不总是确定自己的角色是什么, 他们是怎么做到的呢, 因为他们没有例子."

While much of the research has been done on biological fathers, 他说, most of the findings don't seem to be limited to being a biological parent.

"We need to expand perinatal research to understand the experiences of sexual- and gender-minority parents and diverse family structures,费雪说. "We suspect that some of the experiences of fathers would apply to non-birthing parents in general, although they have many unique experiences that need to be unders太d."

Fisher suggested several ways to support fathers – some on a broad scale, some individual.

在社会层面上，他说，美国的父亲们都很有责任感.S. typically don't get access to parental leave during the crucial days after a child arrives, 当他们这么做的时候, 他们休假的线上电子游戏飞禽走兽比妈妈少. Both pale in comparison with other industrialized countries.

"It really puts them at a disadvantage at a very critical period in their lives,费雪说.

在个人层面上, 他说, fathers need to be aware of the potential for mental health problems and be willing to say they need help. Men often don't seek treatment for their medical needs, 他说, 而抑郁会让请求变得更加困难.

Men should be honest with themselves if they feel depressed, 情绪低落或焦虑, while also "taking the feedback from other people that people might notice you seem different than normal. You might notice you're having an extra nightcap every night, 或者你可能会注意到更多的烦躁."

费舍尔说，专业人士可以提供帮助. "Getting assessed lets you know what is recommended and what are your options to support yourself,他说, 它并不总是意味着药物或治疗.

Gawlik agrees the culture needs to be more supportive of the challenges of modern fatherhood. "I really do feel like this is an area whereas a society, 为社区, 我们真的把事情搞砸了."

Sometimes, a parent can identify problems and reach out to others for relief, 她说. 例如, if a parent is stressed because they feel like all they're doing is hauling their kids to extracurricular activities, 拼车可能会有帮助.

Speaking with other parents at those activities can help in many other ways, 尤其是对爸爸来说, 她说.

如果孩子有特殊问题, 比如多动症, "it would be really great to build a connection with other parents that have children with ADHD, because they're going through what you're going through,她说. Those other parents can provide empathy and possibly suggest strategies that worked for them.

Real-life connections can help with another common stressor: the idea that everyone else has parenting figured out. "Setting yourself up to try to be perfect all the time is an unrealistic expectation," Gawlik说. "So we really need to think about readjusting what our expectations are for not only ourselves, 也为了我们的孩子."

She's done that herself – learning to celebrate the way toys are constantly strewn about her once-tidy home because it shows that children are playing and being creative there.

Her work suggests that a child's mental health improves when parents spend time playing with them and worsens as the number of extracurricular activities rises. Since a child's mental health issues are a big contributor to the parent's own stress levels, that means that a parent who focuses on the core relationship with their child might see benefits all around.

解决方案, 这样的问题, 会因人而异吗, Gawlik说, 但尽早行动很重要. “这都是预防，”她说. "Once you get into a burnout cycle, it's harder to get to get out of it."

Fisher also emphasized the need for fathers to develop a supportive community even if they're feeling well. Self-care – including regular health checkups and finding time to relax – are important "to ensure that they are taking care of their overall well-being, 这会影响到整个家庭吗."